I REMEMBER my schooldays only too well, and our

disciplinarian headmaster's funny little ways. 'Come up

here, boy. Touch your toes.' Swish — whack — ouch! And

this before the whole form who observed closely, some

with a certain tight lipped sympathy, other in undisguised

glee.

But during this ordeal, it was vitally important not to show

any sign of discomfort or emotion — especially the latter.

Above all, you did not blub.

Then came the long and painful walk to your desk at the

back of the room to the accompaniment of the odd

whispered 'Well done' or 'Tee hee'. But still you did not

blub, you would sooner die. Blubbing was for cissies.

Imagine then my thoughts on seeing the captain of the

English test team shedding a tear on TV before the whole

nation — and other nations. Blubbing! Why? Because he

had lost a test match and had thrown in the sponge.

To compound our misery, the English test team is now to

be captained by a South African. Now, I have nothing

against South Africans and young Pietersen plays a

straight bat . But this is cricket we're talking about, a

game devised by the English for the amusement of

Englishmen, and later taught to people of foreign climes.

Surely the English test team should be skippered by an

Englishman, shouldn't it? Or are there none left of the

right calibre?

I can't help wondering just now our ex-captain, Michael

Vaughan, would have handled our headmaster's

attentions. Swish — whack — out.

Richard G Williamson

Cranmere

Castle Road

Okehampton