A WEST Devon man diagnosed with cancer four years ago has written a book about his experiences — and is helping spread the word about the importance of communication.

Brian Gregory, 61, from Bere Alston, was diagnosed with bowel cancer towards the end of 2008.

He said: 'Nearly four years of seeking answers from my GP couldn't prepare me and my family for the initial shock of a cancer diagnosis.

'I have a wife and twin adult daughters and we have all gone through a steep learning curve, as it's not just about all the medical information but about how to cope with everyday life.'

Brian's book, which covers a little of his early life, his diagnosis and his family, was largely written while he was being treated with chemotheraphy. Unable to sleep, he wrote much of it at night.

'I didn't find it therapeutic at the time, but afterwards, reading, it, I did feel a sense of achievement,' said Brian.

Brian is also backing Macmillan Cancer Support's CancerTalk Week, from January 23 to 29, to encourage people affected by cancer to get talking about it — and all of the associated worries — with partners, family, friends and professionals.

When cancer is first diagnosed, it can be overwhelming — and one of the hardest things can be telling other people and sharing fears.

Many people find it hard to talk to their loved-ones about how cancer makes them feel, or to talk about it at all.

But getting the right support from family and friends can really help —especially when the patient is facing the toughest fight of their life.

And it is not just patients who need support; partners, children, colleagues and carers may also find it hard to talk about the impact cancer is having on their lives.

Brian said: 'My diagnosis of cancer has made everything more challenging and has put a strain on the whole family.

'We relocated to Devon and I took early retirement and continuing chemotherapy means that finding a job is very difficult, so there are the financial pressures to cope with. 

'There are also the emotional pressures – I'm really conscious that my wife sees everything and doesn't always have someone to talk to, and I feel bad that pain and discomfort can make me grumpy and I'm no longer the same person I was before with my family.'

Jeannie Wilkinson, a Macmillan-funded Relate counsellor, said: 'It is important that, when going through something tough, like a cancer diagnosis and treatment, you can speak openly about what you're going through to ensure you get the right support you need.

'We meet a lot of patients and people caring for someone with cancer who feel like they need to be "strong" and bottle up their emotions. This can cause great strain on relationships.

'If anyone does want to talk to someone impartial or wants advice on how to talk to their friends and family, the Macmillan team can always help.'

Cancer Talk Week is encouraging people to talk about cancer.

Macmillan Cancer Support can help you with those difficult conversations, call free on 0808 808 00 00 or visit http://www.macmillan.org.uk">www.macmillan.org.uk

l Brian Gregory's book, 'Don't Cry for Me — Cry for those who cry for me' has not yet been published.

Any Times reader affected by cancer who feels his story may help them may obtain a digital copy by emailing [email protected]">[email protected]