A WEST Devon woman has received a national award for her emotional story on her experience as a hostage in war-torn Chechnya. Camilla Carr, 49, who lives near Tavistock, was asked for her thoughts on forgiveness for the ?Pause for Thought? programme broadcast on the Sarah Kennedy show on Radio 2. The station then submitted her piece for The Jerusalem ?shorts? award which saw 38 other items entered, with only five invited to the ceremony in London. The awards have been running for 25 years and invite all radio stations in Britain to submit broadcast material over the last year that is related to Christian values. In Camilla?s ?Personal Journey of Forgiveness? story, she spoke about her journey to Chechnya in 1997. Camilla and her partner, Jon James, went there to set up a rehabilitation centre for war-traumatised children but after three months they were taken hostage by Chechen rebels. During their 14 and a half months of captivity Jon and Camilla experienced extreme physical and mental abuse, and Camilla said forgiveness became a daily issue. For more than three months, Camilla was raped by one of the rebels, until one day she broke down in tears ? something they never did for fear of how the rebels might react. He asked her why she was crying and she pointed out four words in the dictionary, ?no sex, no violence?. Camilla said suddenly it was like a light had switched on in his mind and she could then see he wanted her as a friend. During the story of forgiveness, Camilla said: ?From that moment I began a process of forgiveness, it?s not just saying ?I forgive you?, it?s like peeling off layers of an onion ? it can take years. ?First I acknowledged the fear and anger and found ways of releasing them because I didn?t want to stay in a state of bitterness and revenge. ?Then I cried a lot and finally arrived at a place of peace. Forgiveness for me is not condoning the act or forgetting, it?s about understanding the other person and yourself and letting go.? After receiving the award Camilla said: ?I felt very honoured to get it, although it was quite strange sitting in the lecture theatre with about 250 people listening to myself speak, especially as the subject matter is so shocking. ?Quite a few people thanked me afterwards for being brave and speaking so openly about my story.?
