Behind the smiles and banter between two young men meeting in a pub is an unbelievable story of forgiveness.

The man in the wheelchair is Seth Marks, from Bere Alston, almost totally paralysed from being a passenger in a one-car crash.

Giving him a manly hug is Harry the driver of that car who was under the influence of drugs and drink at the time of the crash in the same village after the pair - long-term friends at the time - met in a local pub.

Who would believe Seth would have put his life-changing injuries to one side to forgive Harry to remain friends.

Not only that, but Seth’s mum Julie has also forgiven Harry, after struggling with overwhelming feelings of ‘anger and hatred’ towards the driver. Harry served a 2.5-year prison sentence after pleading guilty to dangerous driving and other driving offences in the May 2022 crash.

He served 11 months of his sentence but during his imprisonment, Seth was able to talk to him and ask the questions he had desperately wanted answering. Incredibly, Seth was also able to say he forgave his friend.

This powerful and moving story has been largely down to a Devon-based Restorative Justice (RJ) service for victims called Make Amends.

Seth and Julie have agreed to share their powerful story to coincide with Restorative Justice Week and National Road Safety Week – both taking place this week.

After accepting a referral to try RJ through Make Amends and going through the process, Seth was also able to arrange video calls with Harry and their friendship has become stronger than ever.

Seth said: “We are now best mates as going through a traumatic process has brought us a lot closer. We can talk about what happened more openly and when we see each other we have a good laugh. I have a lot of time for Harry and he does for me too.”

Only a few weeks after celebrating his 18th birthday, one ‘stupid’ decision changed Seth’s life and future plans forever – but it has now led him to become an advocate for Make Amends, funded by the Police and Crime Commissioner for Devon, Cornwall and the Isles of Scilly.

In the early hours of the morning after a night out drinking in the pub, Seth chose to get into a car driven by Harry who had been drinking with Seth and smoked cannabis.

The half-mile journey ended when Harry, then 22, who was speeding - careered off the road and collided with a bank and wooden garden fence. Seth was in the back of the car and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.

He was rushed to Derriford Hospital with severe fractures to his neck and spine and was told the devastating news he was quadriplegic and would never walk again. and front seat passenger escaped the crash uninjured.

Seth has no recollection of the incident, his last memory being leaving the pub and then waking up in intensive care. Due to the ongoing police investigation, he could not talk to his close friend Harry.

Seth, now 21, said: “When I woke up in hospital I didn’t understand why I couldn’t move parts of my body. To be told I wouldn’t walk again was a shock and a lot to process.

“I kept asking myself why did I get into the car and why did we crash? But I wasn’t allowed contact with Harry which was sad. I wanted to stay friends with him as I had known him for years.

“A brief meeting with him was arranged and supervised by my mum in hospital with agreement from the police because as the investigation was still ongoing the accident was not to be discussed, but they recognised how important it was to me.

“It was more of a breaking the ice situation and lasted about five minutes. At first, he couldn’t even look at me and when he did he just broke down and his first words were, ‘I’m so, so sorry’. Had I been able to move my arms at the time I would have given him a hug. I have never blamed him for doing this to me. I got in the car and I chose not to wear my seatbelt.

“We both made the decision to get into the car that night so we both did wrong – and that’s what people couldn’t accept.”

Seth was later transferred to Salisbury Hospital’s Spinal Treatment Centre and was finally able to return home where he lives with his mother around 21 months after the crash. He has regained partial movement in his biceps and left wrist but remains confined to a wheelchair, requiring 24/7 support from carers.

Seth, who had been studying engineering at college before the crash, is hoping to spread more awareness about RJ and also road safety through the media and schools and colleges. He is also passionate about educating health professionals about the complexities and uniqueness of spinal injuries.

He said: “I have always been really positive about my accident and have not got any complaints. I might be in a wheelchair but I’m still living my best life and make the most out of every day.

“I might not be able to use my body but I have a brain and I will use that to my advantage to help others.”

Julie also credits Make Amends for her to letting go of the initial overwhelming feelings of ‘anger and hatred’ towards Harry after first seeing her son ‘broken’ in his hospital bed.

She agreed to take part in RJ and visited Harry in prison after deciding that’s where she wanted to meet him face-to-face around nine months after the crash.

Julie, who is now an advisory panel member on a national RJ board to ensure it is more widely available for all victims, said: “It saved me, it really did. It feels a bit like counselling but it’s not. Instead, it gives you a voice.

Make Amends was used by both Seth and his mum Julie after they accepted a referral to Make Amends by the police. They have fully embraced Harry back into their lives and move on thanks to the healing process it provides.

“The opportunity enabled me to forgive Harry. It gives you a space to say what you need to say. It’s liberating, a relief and empowering as it puts you in control and enables you to move on, but the timing has to be right for the victim.

“When I first saw Harry through RJ, we gave each other a hug. Harry has always showed remorse, acceptance and responsibility for the accident. Since getting out of prison, he is the first one to help Seth with his medical needs when they’re out and about, and never lets him leave the pub alone. Harry also teaches other friends of his needs while out.

“People have asked me how I feel about Harry only having served 11 months in prison. To me, he was never in prison for what he did to Seth. If he had been there all of his life it wouldn’t rectify what he had done. Harry was in prison for breaking the law and for being in the car in the first place.

“I was also cross with Seth because he’s sensible and knew the dangers. It was a stupid accident but you can’t blame anyone because they were all equally stupid.

“It took me a while to get my head around not blaming Harry and I was so angry with him for what he had done and for wiping out all Seth’s hope and dreams. Then I realised what right did I have to be angry when Seth wasn’t? That really, really helped.

“Had Seth and Harry not gone through the RJ process, I don’t think they would have the friendship they have got now. It would have been very awkward between them.”

She added: “Harry is a lovely young man and we continue to give each other a big hug every time we see each other. I want him to learn from what happened and succeed which he is.

“I am amazingly proud of Seth and he has inspired me to do a lot of public speaking about RJ. I would encourage anyone to do RJ because it gives you the ability to move on and gives the victim a voice, including victims by default like myself.”

Make Amends is voluntary and brings those who have been affected by crime or conflict an opportunity to meet or communicate with those who have caused them harm to explain the impact it has had on them and others, ask questions and, if appropriate, seek an apology.

It gives those who accept responsibility for the harm, an insight into the real impact their actions have had on the person affected, their friends and family or the community.

Make Amends is available for victims of all types of crime including antisocial behaviour, domestic violence, burglary, shop lifting, harassment, hate crimes and sexual offences. It is delivered by Devon-based Shekinah.

Primarily the victim wants the harmer to understand the impact of the harm that they have caused as they want to see their behaviour change and they also want to have their say.

It gives victims closure as in the criminal justice process they don’t always have the opportunity to explain the consequences of the harmer’s actions. It can be done via writing a letter, face-to-face and video conferencing.

Make Amends is funded by the Devon & Cornwall Police Commissioner. According to national statistics, RJ can reduce offending by 14 per cent. Government research shows that 85 per cent of victims who take part in RJ found the experience useful and were satisfied with the outcome.

Non-crime and self-referrals to explore RJ can be made by emailing [email protected] or calling Make Amends on 01803 222033.

To find out more about Restorative Justice visit Criminal Justice and You, a multimedia resource for people affected by crime.

To access support online visit the Victim Care Devon & Cornwall website at https://victimcare-dc.org/

A video of Seth and Julie telling their inspirational story can also be accessed here: https://youtu.be/xGLrMRPXlzE