WONDERFUL Goose Fair is here again! They do say that 'local dialects' are dying out. So, I thought I'd write a short imaginary scenario where two locals are preparing to visit the fair — hope you can find space for it!

Lorraine Turner

Whitchurch Road, Tavistock

He: Muther — iz us gwain vair er no?

She: Ayse — course us iz, I'm just gwain vone Elsie cuz er Margaret's bahby's

due now en I wanna gnaw wuss appenin.

He: Aw —

She phones and returns

He: Well — buyy er cheele?

She: Buyy.

He: Ass gud, cuz er awready got three maids.

She: Well then - be uss gwain er wot?

He: 'Ang on, 'ang on. I bin giddin tiddies en I best ev a wuyshe en pud on clain claws — Dunnaw oo uz may zee!