JUST thought I'd let you know that I'm thinking of changing my job. Well, what I really mean is, coming out of retirement and becoming an MP. Let's be honest, the pay is better and I could get a nice flat in Kensington, London. Just a few doors from Harrods and a taxi ride to John Lewis. I could walk to Westminster, but I'll get a taxi and claim it back. Now, as far as I know, all flats and houses come with fitted kitchens, so I'll just change the cupboard doors and send in a bill for £10,000, they won't mind. I will not need a television because I'll be eating out in the West End most nights. But then again, they say I can spend up to £750 on a television, so I'll swop it over with the one I've got in Okehampton, which is about 15 years old. Not a bad life this, being an MP. But then again, perhaps one of our MPs would like to change jobs with someone in Okehampton for a year. Just to see how to manage on £10,000 or less for a whole year. Never mind a fitted kitchen! On second thoughts, for the first time in my life since the age of 18, I'm not even going to use my vote, 'stuff 'em'. If they can't live in a real world, how can they do anything for the likes of you and me? David Luckhurst Crocken Tor Road Okehampton